The end of summer brings with it a wave of excitement, nerves, and, for many parents and children, a significant amount of stress. As families across the UK prepare to send their kids back to school, they face a variety of challenges, from packed schedules to emotional upheaval. Dr. Becky Kennedy, a well-known clinical psychologist and parenting expert, offers some timely advice to help make this transition smoother for both children and parents. With her recently launched Good Inside app, Dr. Becky brings practical, age-based advice to families in need of support.
In an exclusive interview, Dr. Becky shares her expert tips on how to ease the stress of back-to-school season, focusing on what parents can do to help their children feel more confident and prepared, as well as how adults can manage their own stress during this time.
Why Back-to-School Stress Affects Parents and Children
Research shows that more than half of parents with children under 18 consider back-to-school season the most stressful time of the year. The flurry of shopping for school supplies, getting back into the swing of daily routines, and addressing the emotional and social concerns that arise with a new school year can make this period overwhelming. And it’s not just the children who feel the pressure—parents also face their own anxieties about how to manage these transitions.
According to Dr. Becky, one of the most important things parents can do is acknowledge these stressors and take proactive steps to create a smoother experience for their families.
Dr. Becky’s Top Tips for Easing Back-to-School Transitions
Dr. Becky Kennedy offers several practical strategies for parents looking to reduce back-to-school anxiety. Her advice focuses on helping children feel prepared, confident, and supported as they head back to the classroom.
1. Talk About the School Transition Early
“One of the easiest things parents can do is talk to their children about the upcoming transition to school,” says Dr. Becky. “This sounds simple, but it’s often overlooked because the days leading up to the start of school can be so hectic.”
Dr. Becky recommends having a conversation with your child about when school begins and creating a visual countdown to help them prepare. For younger children, this could be a paper chain where one link is removed each day until the start of school. Older kids might benefit from using a calendar where they can cross off the days. According to Dr. Becky, these visual aids help children feel more in control of the situation.
2. Establish a Separation Routine
Saying goodbye at the school gates can be tough for both children and parents. Dr. Becky suggests creating a short, consistent goodbye routine to ease the stress of separation. “Your routine might be a hug, a kiss, or a simple ‘see you later, alligator’—the key is to make it familiar,” she explains. “Practising this routine at home can make the separation feel less abrupt and intimidating on the first day of school.”
She also advises keeping the goodbye routine short, as lingering can communicate your own uncertainty and make children feel less confident about going to school.
3. Familiarise Your Child with the School Environment
The start of a new school year often brings new routines, environments, and people. Dr. Becky suggests making these unfamiliar elements more familiar ahead of time. “Before the first day of school, consider driving past the school, talking about the classroom setup, or mentioning the teacher by name in conversation,” she says. “For older kids, doing a practice run of walking to their new classes can also help.”
By giving children an opportunity to become familiar with their new surroundings in advance, parents can reduce the anxiety associated with the unknown.
Helping Parents Manage Their Own Back-to-School Stress
The back-to-school period isn’t just stressful for children—parents feel the pressure too. Dr. Becky’s number one tip for parents? Give yourself a few minutes in the morning to focus on your own needs.
“Many parents feel rushed in the morning, but taking just five or ten minutes for yourself can make a world of difference,” says Dr. Becky. Whether it’s having a quiet cup of coffee, doing a short workout, or simply taking a few deep breaths, setting aside a small window of time for self-care can help make mornings feel less overwhelming.
How to Handle a Child Who Doesn’t Want to Go to School
If your child is resistant to going to school, Dr. Becky advises parents to start by validating their feelings. “When a child says, ‘I don’t want to go to school,’ it’s important to respond with, ‘I understand that something about school doesn’t feel right. Tell me more.’”
Dr. Becky explains that validating your child’s emotions doesn’t mean you’re agreeing with them or allowing them to skip school. Instead, it opens the door to understanding the root cause of their anxiety, whether it’s difficulty with a subject like maths or feeling left out at recess. “By listening, parents can better address the underlying issue and help their child feel more confident about going to school,” she says.
Building Confidence in Your Child
Confidence, according to Dr. Becky, is more about self-trust than simply feeling good about yourself. Instead of trying to convince a nervous child that everything will be fine, she suggests acknowledging their feelings. “When a child says, ‘I’m nervous about school,’ it’s best to respond with, ‘I understand. Tell me more,’” she advises. “When kids learn to trust their own nervousness, they feel more confident because they know their feelings are manageable.”
Dr. Becky encourages parents to follow up with words of belief and support, such as, “I believe in you” or “You’ve got this.” These small but powerful statements help children build resilience and face challenges with greater confidence.
Final Thoughts
As the back-to-school season approaches, both parents and children are likely to experience a range of emotions. By implementing Dr. Becky Kennedy’s expert advice, parents can create a smoother, more manageable transition that benefits the entire family. From creating a visual countdown to developing a consistent goodbye routine, small steps can make a big difference in easing the stress of this busy time of year.
